I Hate to Love you
by hannah223
Summary: What happens when Lizzy has to return home and face the one person that has haunted her since she left for school two years ago?. Will she hate him or will she be surprised at how much she still feels for him?. Future Lemons, just a warning.Rpatz story
1. Chapter 1

The sun seemed to be shining bright for the first time in weeks around here, illuminating everything that had been in overcast for far too long. It was odd however that the one day I wished it to be raining, the one day I hoped for any kind of weather to delay my flight this afternoon that the day turned out to be beautiful. I suppose those who believed in God would say that this was some kind of sign. However I was not one of those people and this lovely spring day was just pure bad luck.

"Lizzy, honey, you will be fine , you know that" a sweet, soothing and familiar voice echoed in my ear sending shivers up my spine. Yes everything would be fine. I knew that the plane wouldn't crash and that my trip would not leave any permanent physical damage but that wasn't my concern. My concern was him, getting sucked back in to the routine, and the easiness of his destructive life that I had tried very hard to leave and to forgot. But no matter how hard you try to leave your past behind you it always seems to come and bite you in the ass.

" I know Jacob, I just didn't ever want to do this you know? Go back there." I smiled turning in my loving boyfriends arms and standing up on my tiptoes to reach his lips that sweetly pressed against mine eagerly. " You know I could always come with you" he smirked looking down at me as his arms circled around my waist and pulled me back. The offer was desirable to say the least because with Jacob at my side I could easily avoid all my problems but I knew he had work, and that my parents weren't all to thrilled with the idea of me dating a 36 year old Hollywood Agent, without meeting him they hated his pretension and his age. No this was something I would have to do alone.

"That would be really great " I hesitated and took a step back out of his arms " but .."

"But? What?" he questioned as I began to begrudgingly gather up my bags.

"But you have a new, really big client, lots of work, and mostly I don't want you to come face to face with my crazy ass family. G-d knows who this wedding will bring out from the woodworks" I grumbled dragging my luggage to the front door and then slipping on a light jacket.

"Oh I don't know about all that, all I know is that your terrified of introducing me to your family, Lizzy I am sure they will get over the age difference when they see us together "

I laughed shaking my head. Yes I was sure any reasonable parents would get over some about an age debacle quite quickly. However we were not dealing with reasonable people, he had no idea how long my family could hold grudges for, they once held a grudge with the O'Connor family, refusing to speak with them for nearly a decade because they had cut down a tree that according to my father had been half on our property. There was simply no getting over things in the Davis household.

"Jacob, sweetheart there is a thirteen year age difference between you and I and you know I was brought up a proper catholic girl" I sighed as he folded his arms and snorted " proper catholic girl my ass" he said with a playful smirk gracing his perfect lips. Looking up at him with his perfect lips, beautiful blue eyes and chiseled body I was convinced that modeling would have been more suitable profession for him. And that he was certifiably crazy for wanting to be with me. no this man deserved a super model not an awkward habitual holey jean wearing girl.

"One day, just not now during the chaos of my brothers wedding, okay?" I asked with pleading eyes hoping he wouldn't take any offense with my decision to do this alone. I bit the inside of my lip nervously as his face softened with defeat.

"Alright baby, but soon alright, I mean I would like to meet them before we get married you know?" It felt as if my heart stopped beating and all air had escaped my lungs. We had never discussed marriage, in fact I was pretty sure Jacob had been scared stiff away from marriage after his first marriage had ended in a bitter, nasty divorce and had left him completely broke. It was one of the things I liked about him, the complete disregard for the institution of marriage. How anyone could respect an institution that had a 60 percent divorce rate was beyond me. I was also positive that watching my parents dysfunctional marriage where they tried their best to not murder each other had something to do with my dislike for marriage.

"Marriage? What?, how? You never talk about marriage, you hate marriage…" He laughed at my expression then leaned forward and cupped my face in his soft hands ' I don't know, marriage doesn't seem so scary when its with you." He winked and kissed my lips " just something to think about" What was he doing to me, I wanted to scream with frustration as I sighed and gathered my things "Just something to think about huh?" I questioned opening the front door to our penthouse apartment " Yeah sure, listen have fun in London and call me when you land alright "

" Yeah, sure" I grumbled kissing him one last time as I headed down the hallway towards the elevator 'Oh Lizzy!!" he called from the door. I pressed the down button and turned to my left "what?" I practically hissed, I had a lot on my plate as it was, the last thing I had needed was his mind games. " Don't loose your carry-on alright?" he asked with a wide smile. I raised a curious eyebrow and slowly nodded " I didn't intend to, bye baby" I quickly waved and entered the elevator, my journey to home had begun already and I knew with several hours still ahead of my that the this journey was going to be a long and painful one.

" We are about to land at Heathrow airport, please prepare to land, buckle your safety belts and make sure your trays are in a upright and locked position" I grumbled slowly sitting up from my uncomfortable seat that I had been stuck in for several hours. I hated flying more then anything. I never understood how anyone could enjoy being cramped in a seat for hours on end while your forced to endure some crappy movie or dull idle conversation from the person beside you who usually smells bad or snores loudly when sleeping.

"Ma'am please prepare to land" the flight attended urged me. I turned and glared at her wondering what would actually happen that if I dare leave my tray down." Yeah I got the message" I snapped back, the lack of decent sleep making me incredibly irritable.

"Okay.." she rolled her eyes at me yet maintained her fake smile as she walked on by uselessly urging others to prepare for landing. I sighed heavily and fidgeted with my safety belt desperately wanting a cigarette. The desire to suddenly smoke; a habit I had kicked less then five months ago caught me off guard, I hadn't even step foot in the country and yet I was already tempted by old and familiar habits.

As soon as I stepped out of the plane I took in a deep breath and sighed. Even though I had dreaded coming back home it oddly felt really good to realize I was back, I felt like I was truly home for the first time in two long years. The smells, the sights and the sounds; suddenly everything was comforting. However the comfort didn't last long. Before I knew it my thoughts were once again filled with anxiety about my home coming. Thankfully my thoughts were momentarily interrupted by a attendant "Miss this way" she nudged me along. I shook my head of all my neurotic thoughts about being home and wondering how I was going to manage the next two weeks of my life as I handed a large burly man who looked like he was about to snap at any moment my passport then quickly went on my way to collect the rest of my luggage. I stood there watching everyone's luggage but mine pass me by and wondered if this was some kind of bad omen, like fate telling me that my lost luggage was a sign I should just turn around right now and go back. Leave behind the crazy family reunion that my brother had called for his wedding, leave behind the drunken grandparents and family who were no doubt waiting for me, prepared with every single lousy gossip story that they had managed to wrangle together over the past two years. And of course how could I forget the endless bickering and fighting that only naturally came along with the drinking. It was no wonder I left so quickly for the furthest university that would accept me right out of high school. And no matter how good it felt to be home , to hear the English accents I had missed so much I knew that once I left the confines of the safe airport I would regret my decision and more then likely desire more then anything to head back to my home in Los Angles where my sanity was.

"There it is" I mumbled to myself as I finally spotted my blue stripped luggage coming slowly and by itself down the conniver belt. "perfect" I grumbled, now this meant I actually had to leave the airport and stay for the damn wedding that my younger brother was forcing me to attend. All I knew was that he was going to pay for this, how dare he get married before me and how dare he make me return to this G-d awful place where I spent the majority of my youth being ignored or being made into a beer wench whenever my father felt like another beer.

"Lizzy!!!" I snapped my head up quietly in fear, I had barely entered the terminal when a familiar voice shouted my name from across the sea of people before me "Mum?" I grumbled making my way through the massive amounts of people. I finally saw her and had to smile. It had been two years since I had seen her and she looked exactly the same, her burgundy hair tied up loosely, her green eyes sparkling and her face lit up with that smile that always managed to comfort me

"Mom" I breathed dropping my bags and wrapping my arms around her. It wasn't until then that I realized that I had really and truly missed her in my life. Even her constant nagging and criticizing I had some how managed to miss.

"Oh Darlin' we are so glad you're here, let me look at you" she wiped her tears and stepped back taking me in" You look beautiful baby, although I never thought I would ever see your hair so short.." she shrugged and tucked my hair behind my ear " it always grows back, now come on come on Everyone is dying to see you and I want to hear all about your flight. Come" she grabbed my hand and dragged me through the sea of people before I even had a chance to respond. I realized as we walked through the airport that my nightmare had indeed begun and there was no turning back. To say I was frightened was a true understatement

"Mom" I groaned in agony as she blew out a dark tempting billow of smoke. She turned to me with an arched eyebrow as we sat in traffic and flicked the ash of her cigarette out the window as if to taunt me. " What? Still not smoking?" she smirked bringing the cigarette to her lips once more before tossing it out the window. I simply grumbled in response. Although I had truly missed my mother I desperately wanted to be out of this car and in between the cool sheets of my small ancient twin bed that always squeaked whenever anyone sat on it or simply moved.

" So darlin' tell me how is school going?" she smiled a true caring smile as her hand reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear. I sighed loving the feeling of her nails scratching along my skin " Good, good had a really great semester " She nodded " And.. that boyfriend of yours.. the one who is old enough to be your father, how is John doing?" her smile had quickly turned into a sarcastic one as we slowly moved up with the rest of the traffic jam.

"Jacob . And he is not old enough to be my father"

"What ?" she croaked honking the horn with inpatients " Look at this bloody fool " she threw her hands up and sighed before quickly turning to me" So are you going to tell me about John or what?"

I wanted to reach up and pull my hair out while letting out a loud shriek, I was certain she was doing this on purpose. " Its JACOB" I huffed clutching my hands at my side in an attempts to control my desperate need of a cigarette.

"Oh, sorry. So Jacob, how is he, is he treating you well and all.. "

"Yes, of course " I gritted my teeth and focused my attention to the still cars beside us. It was odd, we hadn't seen each other in two years and yet she got on my nerves just as quick as if I lived with her.

" You know who asked about you a while back?." I turned to her and narrowed my eyes. I had a feeling I knew exactly who had asked about me and with that thought my entire body cringed with pain.

"Just don't"

My mom turned to me and shook her head "Oh darling, its been two years I thought you would have long gotten over that fight, come on the lad cares about you.."

"I don't care about him so just drop it" My death glares weren't giving her any indication that I didn't want to talk about him and I highly doubted my actual words would take any effect ether.

"Oh Elizabeth get over it, you know he is in movies now.. quite a few I think" she winked at me as the cars finally began to move along the freeway.

" Mom, you have no idea so drop it, and I really don't give a shit if he is in the movies.. can we just stop talking alright? I am exhausted" I turned to her with pleading eyes. She turned to me with a small smile and nodded. I was thankful that we spent the rest of the drive in relative silence.

"Oh good, your brother and your uncles are here" My mom said in a sing song voice as we pulled up to my old home. It was certainly a sight for sore eyes and the simple fact that not one thing was out of place, not one plastic windmill my mother had placed in her garden years ago nor the dead rose bush that had been planted the summer I left had been removed, it was as if the passage of time didn't exists for this house. My nostalgic smile suddenly slipped from my lips as I noticed all the cars in the driveway and one BMW in particular.

" I am going to kill him" I muttered under my breath as my body went stiff and my heart began to race. My mothers gaze found the car I had so easily recognized and she sighed " Listen, he is his best friend, just don't make a scene alright love?" I closed my eyes and swallowed the lump in my throat as I slowly nodded. I sat there glaring at the small black old BMW that had a dent in the fender and a old bumper sticker on the back that had came with the car when he had purchased it four years ago. I braced myself not sure if I was ready to face him, to look at his emerald eyes and not hate him with every fiber of my being, and not feel that pain I had so vividly felt the day I left London and the miserable months that had followed.

" Come on, you can't avoid him forever" my mom smirked down at me as she opened my passenger side door. I looked up at her and practically hissed; she was enjoying this far to much.

"Come on everyone is dying to see you " she said practically yanking me out of the car." Mom just a quick hello then I'm going to bed alright?" she rolled her eyes as we walked up the few steps to the house " that's fine but be nice would you" she smirked kissing my cheek. I took in a deep breath and said a silent prayer to nobody in particular as we entered the warm house. I looked around in amazement, it was just like outside, nothing about this small two story three bedroom home had changed, the Tv was still permanently on the football channel, the couch still had the must eaten blanket draped across it that my mother refused to throw out and the smell of cooking meat and beer was still present. I slipped off my jacket thankful nobody had noticed our presence yet. However as I slowly stepped forward I noticed him right away, the wild chocolate hair was still gorgeous, the baggy black jeans that covered his legs that rested on the coffee table were more then likely dirty and the smile on his face was genuine as he laughed with my dad and chugged back his beer. Everything about him, his greasy hair and dirty clothes was all the same, however I noticed even from a far a quiet confidence that he had developed. I sighed stepping forward catching my fathers attention first.

" ELIZABETH!!!!" he jumped up from the couch, putting his beer down and quickly wrapping his arms around me. I inhaled his scent of beer and cigars that I had missed and nuzzled my nose in to his Cosby style sweater." Dad I missed you so much" I mumbled trying not to let my emotions get the better of me as we continued to embrace. " Me too love, its so good to have you home" I sighed slowly opening my eyes only to lock with his across the room sending shivers all the way down my back. I hated to admit it to myself but he was more gorgeous then I remembered and I hated him for still making me shiver by just one look. As soon as he noticed me looking back at him he blushed and quickly turned pretending to focus on the TV, filling the room with thick awkward tension that was privy to only the two of us. I sighed fearing that this was what my time at home would be like; just filled with awkwardness and silent moments that should be filled with meaningless easy chatter. But I knew that was never going to happen for us, this was just to much there to pretend to be his friend.

"Hey Rob—" my brothers voice boomed as he entered the living room suddenly frozen with his notice of me " Sis is that you" he laughed walking over to where Dad and I were. As soon as I got a good look at him I threw my head back and laughed " went from gangster to gap huh?" I smirked embracing him feeling Robs eyes on me from across the room as I did. He groaned "I was hoping you wouldn't notice" I stepped back from his embrace and looked at him. This was the guy who always used to wear his pants past hiss ass and who never left home without a backward cap was now clad in khakis and a polo. My smile suddenly faded though when I remembered I was severely mad at him for lying to me.

"You are in such big trouble " I grumbled under my breath. He smirked his famous devilish smirk that always allowed him to get away with anything and placed a kiss on the top of my head " it's not my fault I promise" he whispered to me. I rolled my eyes, nothing was ever his fault." So where is everyone, I thought Mom said uncle Ben and Nigel were here?" I sighed suddenly feeling very awkward with just myself my brother and the man that was causing me the mild heart attack. It was all too convenient for my liking that my parents had quickly disappeared.

"Um" he coughed awkwardly from the couch " I think Ben and Nigel went for a beer run before you got here. Lizzy" He forced a smile but his voice was quiet and strained with nerves but none the less music to my ears and his eyes held sincerity and slight pain that I had not expected. Just gazing in to his eyes I felt like I was about to cry. All the memories of how we used to be came quickly flooding back and I suddenly found myself unable to speak. I just stared at him and simply nodded. " Uh, come on Elizabeth I'll take you upstairs so you can sleep you look bloody exhausted" I quickly nodded thanking my brother for his rescue as we headed upstairs. As soon as he had shut my bedroom door I glared at him "How could you do this to me?!!!" I said through clenched teeth flinging open my suitcase with aggression. He sighed running a hand through his neatly combed hair " Look I swear when I told you he wouldn't be here until the day before the wedding I wasn't lying, he had phoned me up two days ago saying that he got leave from the movie he was working on in Spain to come and be here for me as a surprise!, what did you want me to do? Say no my sister hates you" I rolled my eyes and began unpacking with fury. " No what you do is you call your sister and warn her. Idiot" I mumbled.

'Eli I am really sorry alright, I didn't think you would show if you knew he would be here." I shot my head up and smirked at him, giving him a look to let him know he was damn right. He rolled his eyes then let a frustrated sigh" look I don't know what happened between you two but is it impossible to please be civil with him, please?" I sighed stepping back from the heaps of clothes on my bed and slowly nodded. I suppose it was time that I was the adult and did this for my brother.

"Fine" I hissed with defeat " But" I held up my hand " I am only doing this for you. and I mean I am going to try to be civil don't expect miracles here or anything" His smile was wide and thankful " Good, thank you" he hugged me one more time " It's so good to see you"

" You too" I winked and went back to unpacking

" Well unpack get some sleep then you are coming to dinner with us all and you can finally meet Casey huh?"

I slowly nodded and waved him out the door thankful for a moment's peace as I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes.

_His arms wrapped around me securely as he nuzzled my neck . We sat together on a blanket watching the fire works go up above us as family and friends around us joked and cheered. " Your brother is looking at me like he wants to kill me " he laughed reaching behind him and pulling out two cigarettes handing one to me. I looked in the direction of my brother and had to laugh. His eyes were narrowed in on us and was sitting with a stiff posture. " Yeah" I mumbled over my cigarette as Rob lit it for me " he just isn't used to us, it's weird for him you know" I smirked with a sudden devilish idea to payback my brother for all the torment he had given me about dating his best friend._

_"Lizzy" Rob exhaled then chuckled " that look isn't a not used to it look, that look is I am going to cut off his balls look" I threw my head back and laughed. "are you afraid of my brother or something?" I asked coyly turning in his lap so that I was now facing him. He laughed shaking his head " maybe.." he winked at me and let out another dark cloud of smoke through his nose. " Well, I'll protect you princess don't you worry about that" I smirked running my free hand through his messy hair that I loved to pull at. " hey" he said with a serious face leaning up so his nose was practically touching mine " it's queen to you' I smiled and slowly nodded " sure queen" I whispered leaning forward and placing my lips on his chapped ones letting out a quite moan as I did. "Liz.." Rob began to protest but I quickly deepened the kiss allowing my tongue to slip in to his mouth and my body to grind against the base of his. He instantly reacted the way I had so hoped he would by quickly putting out his smoke and grabbing the back of my head to deepen the kiss._

_"Lizzy" he groaned in to my mouth as our heated Kiss continued._

_"Lizzy" he moaned again "Shhh" I cooed pulling my lips from his and down towards his neck as another fire work went off above us._

_"Lizzy.. Lizzy.. Liz!!"_

I shot up in a frantic from my dream and looked around in the somewhat dark room with panic.

"Sorry" came a quiet voice from the other side of my room. My head instantly turned to see him standing by my door looking apologetic. I took in a deep breath trying to calm myself down and ran a hand through my tangled hair as I just glared at him. He looked cute his wild hair tucked under a beanie hat and his blue dress shirt un-tucked and wrinkled. Just looking at him made my own heat rise and I felt a blush creep across my cheeks. " What the hell are you doing in here" I barked finally gaining my composure. Great those were my first words to him in over two years and they were mean and filled with bitterness.

"Uh" he shifted his weight nervously and held out my cell phone " it was downstairs, I thought it was mine we have the same phone so I answered it when it rang …" he mumbled taking a nervous step forward " and um, Jacob was very concerned so I figured I would come up here and let you know" He said handing me the phone. I stuck out my hand and accepted my cell phone all the while refusing my gaze to leave his. I had missed him, his face, his voice and his distinct smell of coffee and cigarettes. I had missed him much more then I would ever have liked to and right then and there I fought against every urge to wrap my arms around him and pull him on top of me. It was strange this feeling, I had feared that as soon as I saw those emerald eyes that I would want to kill him, rip him apart and hurt him like he had hurt me and yet here we were and killing him was the farthest thing from my mind and I hated myself for that, I hated that my heart and my hormones were betraying me.

"Uh, Liz are you okay?" he crocked his head sideways and flashed me a grin. I closed my mouth an nodded. " Yeah. Sorry. Thanks for telling me"

"Sure, sorry I woke you but Mike said you had to get up anyways, were all heading out for dinner " He said nervously shoving his hands in his pockets.

" Of course he did, I hate my brother so much right now. Anyways thanks, tell him I'll be ready in a bit I just have to call Jacob back" Rob quickly nodded and dashed for the door. " See you in a bit" he smirked and shut my door. As soon as he was gone I let out a heavy sigh and flopped back down on my pillows. These next two weeks were going to kill me if every conversation I had with him was going to be filled with such tension as it was moments ago. Trying to forget all about him I quickly dialed my apartment number thankful Jacob was home.

"There you are, some British guy answered your phone" he laughed

"Well babe I am in England. sorry about that though, just an old friend thought it was his phone."

"Ah" he exhaled "So tell me everything, how was the flight, how is the family?" I groaned pushing my face into my pillow with exhaustion. This was not the conversation I wanted to be having. In fact in a perfect would I would still be sound asleep." Babe, please can we do this later I am so beat" I heard his disappointed sigh on the other end and felt somewhat guilty " Alright, that's fine. Go to sleep and I'll call in the morning. Your time"

" Okay, bye baby"

" Bye Lizzy" I slapped my phone shut and sat there on my bed taking in my old room for the first time since I arrived. I smiled noticing all the different silly academic or athletic trophies that never meant anything to me but meant everything to my parents, the pictures of my friend scattered around my room and one picture in particular of Rob and I kissing. I closed my eyes and sighed. It was only two years ago but it felt like a lifetime ago. It might as well of been I was so different back then and I wondered if he had changed to. Groaning I pulled my tired jet legged body out of bed and began to decide on what to wear for the night out from hell.


	2. Chapter 2

Looking in the mirror I smiled. I had spent the past half an hour digging through my suitcase trying to find something half decent to wear to this little family reunion we were having tonight. Although I was dreading what those beautiful green eyes would do to me tonight I was otherwise excited to be around family again. Looking myself over in the mirror I decide that what I had on was perfect. It was a little black dress that curved to every part of my body perfectly and yet didn't reveal that much. My hair was swept back and in curls and my make up was light. I wasn't sure why I wanted to impress him so much, there was a part of me that wanted him to know what he had missed. While putting the final touches on my make up a pounding came from the other side of my door.

" I'll be down in a minuet mike." I shouted to my annoying brother. I grew angry when I heard the door creak open. Turing around and getting ready to yell at my brother I found myself speechless. Rob was standing against the doorjamb to my room with his arms crossed across his chest and a crooked smile. " Do you not know the meaning of privacy. Jesus" I hissed with anger turning back to the mirror.

" Sorry. This isn't like you Lizzy, taking hours just to do make up" he scoffed. I turned around and growled he had the nerve to be sitting on my bed flipping through the book I had been reading, acting like we were the best of friends. I quickly snatched the book out of his skinny hands and tossed it across the room.

" Like you have any fucking clue what I am like anymore!" I barked turning around to grab my purse.

" I don't know Lizzy, two years." He sighed, " Isn't that long of a time, I mean compared to the lifetime I have known you. People don't really change all that much" he said with a cocky smirk. I felt my entire body heat up with anger. He had always been an arrogant prick and I wasn't sure why I had been surprised he was still one after two years. I guess I had hoped he would have grown up.

"Well I have, unlike you I have spent the past two years growing up. I suggest you get to it" I hissed heading for the door but was caught by his hand grabbing my arm. I glared down at his contact and he instantly stepped away. " Liz, come on can't we put this shit behind us?" I glared at his pleading eyes and shook my head. He didn't get it and I realized then that he never would.

" Let's just go, they are all waiting for us" I snapped trying to avoid his pleading eyes.

" Um. Actually they took off; I said we would meet them there… I hope you don't mind, its just been—"

" Of course I mind!!" I growled " do you actually think I want to spend some alone time with you do you?, after…"

"After what Liz Huh?" Rob growled his eyes were narrowed and his face was red. " You act like this is all my fault. Well guess what I didn't make you leave the country- you know what just forget it. There isn't any point" he huffed running his hands through his hair. After a moment of awkward silence he sighed " can we just try and act friendly.. for your brother at the least? He is already stressed out as it is" I closed my eyes and let out a breath. He was right, there was no reason for us to be fighting anymore, it wasn't going to get either one of us anyone. We would just had to endure the next two weeks with each other and make the best of it before going our separate ways again.

" Okay, your right" I hated the way that sounded, I hated admitting he was right but for once he was being the mature one. " Lets just get tot dinner" I flashed him my best smile before heading downstairs knowing these next two weeks were going to be a true test of our limits. I just prayed that we could make it though them without killing each other.

Three hours and countless glasses of wine later I felt happy and I had been finally able to ignore the penetrating green eyes that had been staring at me from across the table all night long. I ignored to the best of my ability the way he set my body on fire from even a distance and focused my attention on getting to know my brothers wife to be; Casey. She was a 24-year-old law clerk and was far to cute for my brother.

" So Casey, can I ask you something?" I said noticing the slur starting to appear in my speech. " Sure" she smiled snuggling closer to my brother. " What the hell do you see in this guy" I laughed pointing to my brother. She beamed looking up at him and it instantly made me want to puke and I could tell by the grimace on Robs face he was thinking the same thing. " Well he's handsome, charming and a great dancer" she laughed kissing his cheek. I nearly threw up in my wine glass and quickly ordered a beer from the waitress once I had down the rest of the glass.

" You don't like beer" Rob snickered from across the table. I had managed to ignore all his little comments all night but for some reason that simple fact that he thought he still knew me bothered me beyond belief. " Pattinson you don't know shit about me okay" I hissed accepting the Corona from the waitress with a smile. He simply scoffed from across the table while my entire family observed our little exchange.

" How come you two hate each other so much? Casey hiccupped while finishing her own glass of wine. I groaned inwardly while the entire table went quiet. Rob looked at me with narrowed eyes and shrugged " I don't hate Lizzy, I could never hate her. You would have to ask her that question not me" he said, his eyes never leaving mine. I sighed slamming down my own beer in frustration just as my cell phone went off. I quickly snatched it from my pocket and instantly smiled. The bell saved me so to speak.

" I have to take this; excuse me " I was more then happy to leave that tense awkward moment and step outside even for only a moment.

" I thought you said you were going to call in the morning " I smirked leaning over a near by railing that looked over the whole city or so it seemed.

" I know but." his voice was drained and tired and I knew something was wrong. " I was hoping you had checked your carry on by now. Have you even unpacked yet Lizzy?"

I stood there frozen with fear and anxiety mixed with complete confusion.

"No baby, I haven't. Look I will in the morning okay?"

" Okay. Night lizzy"

" Night baby" I sighed slapping my phone shut and looking out on to the dark night.

" Baby?" a husky voice scoffed followed by the sound of a lighter flicking on. I turned around to find Rob walking towards me with a cigarette in his hand waiting for me to accept it.

" I don't smoke" he raised an eyebrow and smirked " alright, I get it I guess?"

" get what exactly?" I hissed. He sighed standing beside me as we both leaned over the railing of the balcony. " you know, this person your trying to be" he said waving his hands in the air suggestively " the dress…"

"what's wrong with my dress!!!?" I nearly shouted. He laughed shaking his head " Liz there is nothing wrong with the dress.." his eyes shifted up and down my torso before he continued " in fact" he exhaled "you look amazing, it's just not you." I rolled my eyes his gaze was making me hot and the cloud of smoke surrounding him was making my lungs burn but for the life of me I did not want to move away from him, I was loving the proximity. I had missed this feeling of being set a blaze whenever I was near him. "Pray tell how would you know me? Rob you need to understand that I have changed I am not some 16 year old girl anymore, or 19 year old girl for that matter"

" Please Lizz that's not hard to tell, but who you are. That free spirited, crazy, don't give a crap about what anyone thinks girl well that's still you, it always will be. You putting on this act" he said waving his hands in front of me " to try and impress this grandfather your doing is not you and it makes me sad to see you loose yourself" he sighed stroking my cheek and tucking my hair behind me ear. I closed my eyes and sighed enjoying the closeness then as I thought about his words my anger for him re appeared.

" Rob, you don't know me, you never really have alright. And this so called grandfather is not even that much older then me…"

" thirteen years" he raised his eyebrows as I growled " your brother told me"

" Perfect" I shook my head and pushed away from him. " If were going to be civil your going to need to not touch me, not taunt me and you sure as hell are going to stop talking about me and my life as if you still fucking know me. Got it " I practically screamed. I was determined to do this for my brother; to get along with him but he needed to not push my buttons or this was not going to work.

" Liz-" he began to protest

" No. I am serious!!" he huffed putting out his cigarette and taking two steps away from me " fine if that's how you want it, then that's how its going to be" he gave me one last glare before heading inside.


	3. Chapter 3

The night hadn't turned out to be a complete disaster. After my little spat with Rob we both managed to carry on as If nothing was bothering us, like nothing had ever bothered us. I was amazed at how well I performed and well his ability to smile and laugh at all my dumb jokes and not act like he hated me only attested to his acting abilities. It was 2 in the morning before we left the restaurant and I had realized that I had drank far more then I ever intended to and was now stumbling out on to the streets.

" Hey Rob!" My brother yelled to him from a few short feet away where he had his hands wrapped around his soon to be wife. " Make sure my lil sis gets home alright?". I suddenly felt a arm warp around me and a tug " yeah no worries, see you tomorrow for the fittings" he waved quickly to my brother and slowly began to walk me towards his car, his arm still present around my shoulders. As we approached his beat up BMW he withdrew his arm from around me and instantly missed the contact. " Sorry did I break one of your rules?" he snarled walking to the driver side door.

" Just shut up alright Rob" I moaned

" Yeah okay, just get your drunken ass in the car, I swear I thought my days of taking care of your drunken ass were long gone" he mumbled more to himself as he started the engine, each word stinging more then the other.

" you know what" I pushed open my door and stepped out of his car " I'll call a cab thanks, you wont ever have to worry about taking care of me again " I slammed his car door and headed down the empty cool street looking for any sign of a taxi and trying to regain control over my emotions. I quickly swiped an escaped tear and attempted to hale down a passing taxi.

"Liz! Quit being a drama queen and get in the car" his voice boomed with pure annoyance from across the street. I shook my head and tried to ignore his shouting to the best of my abilities while swiping away my embarrassing tears. I hated to admit even in my drunken state that Rob had any kind of an effect over me. The truth was that I still very much cared about him, even though I didn't want to, even though I wanted to hate him with all of me there was still a damn stubborn part of me that never let him go.

Walking further down the street Robs shouts became less loud and I sighed sitting down on a bus bench with my head hung low being reminded of the very last fight I had with him before leaving for America.

_Flashback July 2005_

_There was a continuous and annoying pounding on my bedroom door. With a grunt I threw down a pile of clean clothes on my bed and opened the door prepared to chastise my brother for bothering me while I was attempting to pack. To my utter surprise I found Rob standing there, heavy bags under his eyes, his hair a mess and his clothes wrinkled and somewhat smelly. " What the hell are you doing here?" I groaned. My worst fears were about to be realized._

_" Your bodyguards let me in," he said with a roll of his eyes. I snickered shutting the door as he walked in my room. It had been three long weeks since I had seen him, since I had told my entire family to not let him near me. I just didn't think I could face him and now here he was forcing me to face him and I felt sick to my stomach just looking at him._

_" What the hell Liz!" he exclaimed looking around my half packed up room and then at me for some answers._

_"Yeah well, I'm off to school" He gave me a confused look and shook his head_

_" I Don't understand your just going to oxford, I mean your staying ho-"_

_"No I am not" I said without any emotion. I didn't want him to know how badly he had hurt me. I walked over to my open suit case and continued packing._

_"I am going to the states Rob, and I have a lot to pack so what is it that you want to say to me?" I raised an eyebrow at him. He sighed closing his eyes and taking a seat on the edge of me bed; hanging his head low._

_" So your just going to run away is that it?" his voice was filled with hurt and venom._

_" No Rob, I am not running away I-"_

_" Yes you are, don't lie to me, and more importantly don't lie to yourself"_

_" You have no right to come in here and talk shit to me!!" I finally screamed letting my emotions take over my body with an incredible force. He sat up quickly from my bed and glared at me as he paced the room._

_" Oh don't I?, Look I have a right to a say in this!, you just can't get up and move without me. Damn it Liz this just isn't about you or about me anymore.." his eyes glared at me and focused quickly on my stomach before casting themselves to the ground._

_" Really?, isn't this what you wanted Rob? To be rid of the girl and the baby all in one shot so you can go off and do your big shot movie roles you always wanted to do.. so you could be the rock star or movie star without any responsibilities. I thought you would be happy" I grimaced throwing on the lid of my suitcase with anger._

_" I can't believe you" he quietly sobbed, discarding of his few tears as discreetly as possible. " I can't believe you just said that to me, after everything we have been through.. after.. Jesus Liz!! I told you I wanted to be with you forever, to marry you one day and now you say this bulls—"_

_" Oh yeah, it really looked like you were thinking of me and a commitment to me and our baby when you had your tongue down Tracey Kin's mouth and your hands on her fucking ass the DAY after I told you I was pregnant… real great demonstration of your commitment there Rob."_

_" Liz!, I don't know what to do, I love you more then my own life okay?.. I, freaked out and I have tried to apologize to you in so many different ways but its fucking hard to do that when you won't take my calls, you wont see me and you will barely look at me!. We are 19 of course I freaked out, but look." He sighed stepping towards me his eyes red and puffy and filled with fear and devastation "Just tell me what to do, how to fix this, I want to do this with you more then anything" he sighed placing a soft kiss on my cheek and a hand on my stomach. I closed my eyes and let out a shudder followed by a sob and pushed him away, this was becoming all to much to handle._

_" Just don't, its too late for that" I whispered as I sat slowly down on my bed my face in my hands trying desperately not to continue sobbing._

_"What do you mean Liz?" his voice was soft yet filled with fear and judgement. Looking into I saw sheer panic. " I mean.." I said taking in a deep breath. I had planned on leaving the country and not bothering to tell him, but looking into his eyes I knew I just couldn't do that to him. He deserved to know._

_" I mean, i.. We.. I lost it.. Okay" I closed my eyes tightly trying to suppress the tears I had been battling against. I heard a small gasp escape his lips and then instantly felt his arms around me and his nose buried in the crook of my neck as his hands rubbed meticulous circles on my back. " Baby, when.. why didn't you tell me.. I could have.."_

_I quickly pushed him away and stood up trying to collect myself " you couldn't have done anything rob, and besides I didn't think you cared much.." I shook my head and tried to busy myself with the pile of clothes in front of me as I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist and a chaste kiss placed on the nape of my neck " Don't ever say that, ever! I love you more then anything an—"_

_" Just Don't " I pushed him away and continued my work trying to avoid his intense glare. " Don't?" he scoffed. " Stop it, just fucking stop it!" he shouted grabbing the clothes out of my hand and throwing them on the bed " would you look at me!" he demanded grabbing my chin. I slowly opened my eyes and looked into his emerald eyes to see a world of pain. " If you think I am letting you leave now, you have another thing coming. We can get through this together I kn-"_

_"No!, you know what.. I can't do this alright. You can't go acting the way you did with me, screaming at me as if the pregnancy to begin with was all my fault like I was purposefully ruining your life then CHEAT on me and come here to apologize and feed me all this bullshit and expect everything to be fine!. Well guess what it's not fine and you know what" I sighed " it never will be, this is how it's supposed to be so just leave it be. This is the best for both of us Rob!"_

_" You actually fucking believe that!, what kind of shit has your parents been feeding you? Huh? " I cringed at his tone of voice and slowly opened my bedroom door._

_" It's over Rob" I said without any emotion, however the truth was every second looking at him was killing me. I loved him with all of me but I knew this was the best for him, if he had actually loved me he never would have reacted the way he had and I knew deep down that he wasn't ready for any of this, a commitment was the last thing he needed._

_" No!, Its not over!, you can't just fucking tr-"_

_" please" I begged " just, please.. it hurts rob" I let out a quite sob as he stood there at my door his face red with rage and his eyes glossy with tears._

_" Fine!" he snapped heading towards the door. " have fucking fun in America!" and with those bitter last words he slammed my bedroom door as I collapsed to the floor with painful sobs. It was really over._

_End flashback_

" So when are you going to stop running away for once in your life" his voice with bitter and still filled with annoyance as he approached me, a hand in his hair and a cigarette dangling from his lips. Damn it, he looked sexy I thought to myself as I quickly wiped away my tears from that painful memory.

" Rob" I sighed letting out a deep breath. He looked at me with an arched brow waiting for me to continue. " It still hurts.." I said quietly looking out on to the nearly empty London street. " what does Liz" he said with a sight sitting down beside me " You, looking at you, being around you it just reminds me of what happened and how.." I stopped myself as I felt my tears permeate my eyelids.

" Liz" he let out a long sigh and moved closer to me wrapping his arms around my shoulder as I slowly rested my head on his shoulder. " I hate this so much" I groaned into his jacket. " Look I get it, I know why you don't want to be my friend or whatever.. I understand you don't have to explain anything .."

" I can try" I sighed looking up at him. " to be your friend I mean." He meekly smiled down at me and nodded " yeah id like that, now come on lets get your drunk ass home and see if you remember any of this conversation in the morning " he chuckled pulling my limp body off the bench and helping me to his car.

The entire way home all I thought about was that painful few weeks before I left for school and how dead inside I had become. It was only three months after I arrived in America that I started to live again. However before that my days were filled with monotonous schoolwork and my nights with depression, insomnia and infomercials. That was until I met Jacob, somehow he managed to pull me out of my black hole that I encompassed and helped me live again. I loved him so much for that and I would always be grateful.

"Liz, you're here" Robs soft voice interrupted my thoughts. I turned to him and sighed. " Hey what's going on up there" he smirked tapping my head and swiping away a few stray tears " why are you crying love?" Love I relished in the overwhelming feeling of him calling me his love once again even if only for a moment. " I was thinking about a lot of stuff.. hey rob" I sighed.

" yeah..?" I wasn't sure what came over me but I knew I couldn't and didn't want to be alone tonight, not with my head swimming with all the dreadful thoughts of the worst days in my life. With those thoughts I knew I couldn't trust myself to be alone.

" could you, I mean would you mind if, if you stayed with me.. please. I mean I just really don't want to be alone"

He looked at me strangely, his hands still present on the steering wheel. As he contemplated my offer fear brewed inside me and I attempted to laugh " never mind, sorry I better g—" I placed my hand on the door handle just as he placed a hand on my shoulder.

" wait Liz, I will if its what you really want"

I slowly nodded " but you don't have to I mean if you don't want I understand"

He shook his head and quietly laughed " Liz, come on when are you going to learn I would do just about anything for you.. come on lets go to bed."


End file.
